dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
