now i know why i became what i already was.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
