Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
