the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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