You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Congratulations! We have a period
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