I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
