For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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