Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize