You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
