the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
