Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize