Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
