You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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