Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
