yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
