He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
ttyl tear gas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize