It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
