she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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