He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she peed on how many people?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
