I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
