Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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