dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
How's work?
Spinning.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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