Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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