what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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