just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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