OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
