Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize