I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I fill condoms, not promises.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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