WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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