I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
