Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
