There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
two words...techno handjob
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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