i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
