You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The chlamydia really affected his face.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
