Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
