I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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