I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
