I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
