He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
