The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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