What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
