In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
