have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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