She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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