Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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