let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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