brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
