Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
