you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
