Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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