She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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