well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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