So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The uberlube is also flammable
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
