okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
