Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
