Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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