i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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