ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
