"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
